i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
