Just cropdusted the office
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
