If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
