I'm gonna have a badass scar
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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