She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
