Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
