that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Im part way to drunk.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
