Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
now i know why i became what i already was.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
