Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
