I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You made out with two different species that night
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
