Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
