I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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