I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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