the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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