Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
