I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
