Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
