Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
