She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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