I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
