We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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