i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
