i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize