the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
