I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
