I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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