My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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