he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
