its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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