he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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