So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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