update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
