I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
