well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
