There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You are a genius and a whore.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
