OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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