That's intense
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
