it wasn't lemon gatorade
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
