Jerry, you need to find god
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
