Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
