we made out on top of his cat.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
