nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
