so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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