I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
