you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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