There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
