I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
