I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
