I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
