Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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