went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
