arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
