I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
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