so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Can Purell be used as lube?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
