Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Randomize
