We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
They should really pass out barf bags in church
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
