Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
