Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
