I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
