Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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