she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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