My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
