apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
handjob tips. give me some.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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