maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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