We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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