I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
This can only be settled by a dance off.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
