I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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