i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
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