So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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