Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
